10 Simple Ways to Last Longer in Bed

Spaffing your load too soon? Transform ordinary nights into extraordinary experiences with these simple techniques for quick wins and longer lasting fun!

By Team Spafe

9 January 2024

Sex is meant to be fun, fulfilling and intimate, yet for many it can be a source of stress and anxiety.

This is particularly true in cases like premature ejaculation (PE), a common sexual condition. If you’re experiencing PE, you’re not alone; it affects up to 75% of men at some stage in their lives.

What is Premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is a common form of sexual dysfunction. It involves ejaculating sooner than desired, often leading to distress.

Factors like serotonin levels, hormonal imbalances, and psychological issues can contribute to PE.

What is the average ejaculation time?

Understanding the time it takes to ejaculate can be puzzling, as there’s no definitive ‘normal’ duration.

Research involving men from various countries shows a range of ejaculation times, typically over four minutes post-penetration. However, these studies mostly focus on heterosexual couples and don’t account for non-penetrative sexual activities, which can be significant factors in sexual satisfaction.

Despite these averages, the key is enjoying and prolonging sexual encounters.

Here’s our top 10 tips to last longer:

1. Enhance Foreplay

Enhancing foreplay can greatly improve sexual satisfaction for both partners. Women often require more direct clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm and may find it challenging to climax from penetrative sex alone.

A survey of over 50,000 people revealed that only 18% of women reported orgasms from vaginal penetration. Engaging in more varied foreplay, such as fingerplay, oral sex, or exploring your partner’s preferences, can significantly bridge the orgasm gap. This not only prolongs the overall sexual experience but also ensures mutual satisfaction, making the encounter more fulfilling for both partners.

2. Practice Edging

Edging, a technique where one approaches the point of ejaculation and then pauses, can effectively prolong sexual activity and enhance orgasm control. This method requires practice and self-awareness.

Techniques include the stop-start method, where you pause sexual activity or masturbation when nearing climax, and the squeeze technique, where the penis’s head is squeezed to delay ejaculation.

These techniques help in managing arousal levels, allowing for a more extended and enjoyable sexual experience, and can be beneficial for both solo and partnered sexual activities.

3. Incorporate Sex Toys

Introducing sex toys into the bedroom can significantly enhance sexual pleasure and help in synchronising partners’ climax times.

The variety of sex toys available, such as vibrators, can be used during sex or foreplay to focus on the partner’s pleasure.

This is especially useful in heterosexual relationships, where there is often a discrepancy in the time it takes for each partner to reach orgasm. Using a toy that your partner enjoys can make the sexual experience more pleasurable for them and help in extending the duration of intercourse.

4. Masturbate Beforehand

Masturbation before sex can be an effective way to prolong the duration of intercourse.

The timing of masturbation is key; it should be close enough to the sexual encounter to reduce immediate arousal but leave sufficient time to rebuild excitement for the subsequent sexual activity.

This strategy requires some experimentation to find the right balance that allows for prolonged intercourse while still maintaining a high level of sexual enjoyment.

5. Use Thicker Condoms

Thicker condoms can decrease the intensity of sensation during sex, potentially extending the duration of intercourse.

These condoms, often marketed as extended pleasure, create a more substantial barrier, reducing sensitivity.

While there is limited research directly linking thicker condoms to prolonged ejaculation time, their use involves minimal risk. Besides potentially extending intercourse duration, they also provide protection against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

6. Strengthen Pelvic Floor Muscles

Strengthening pelvic floor muscles through exercises like Kegels can improve control over ejaculation.

These muscles, often overlooked in men’s sexual health, play a crucial role in ejaculation control. Kegels involve contracting and relaxing the muscles used to stop urination or prevent passing gas.

Regularly performing these exercises can lead to stronger pelvic muscles, offering better control during sex and potentially reducing instances of premature ejaculation.

7. Try Benzocaine Wipes

Benzocaine wipes, containing a mild numbing agent, can extend the time to ejaculation when used on sensitive parts of the penis.

Applied about five minutes before sex and allowed to dry, these wipes can reduce sensitivity, doubling the average time to ejaculation in some studies. Users also report decreased performance anxiety and better orgasm control. While preliminary research is promising, it’s essential to ensure the substance doesn’t transfer to the partner during sex.

8. Consider Numbing Creams or Sprays

Similar to benzocaine wipes, a variety of desensitising products like creams and sprays can be applied to the penis to reduce sensitivity. Containing mild anaesthetics like lidocaine and benzocaine, these products delay the onset of orgasm.

The active ingredients decrease sensitivity, allowing for a prolonged sexual encounter. While individual responses may vary, these products are generally effective in delaying ejaculation and are easy to use.

9. Explore Medication Options

In some cases, prescription medication may be necessary to manage premature ejaculation. While no drugs are specifically FDA-approved for PE, certain medications, such as PDE5 inhibitors (like sildenafil) and antidepressants (like selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors), are sometimes prescribed off-label.

These medications can affect ejaculation time and overall sexual experience. However, it’s important to consult with a healthcare provider to understand the potential benefits and side effects before starting any medication for PE.

10. Behavioural and Psychological Therapies

Exploring behavioural and psychological therapies can be highly beneficial in managing premature ejaculation. Techniques such as cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) can help address underlying psychological factors like anxiety, stress, and relationship issues that may contribute to PE.

In some cases, working with a sex therapist can provide tailored strategies to improve sexual performance and reduce anxiety related to sexual encounters. These therapies focus on changing thought patterns and behaviours, contributing to a more satisfying and controlled sexual experience.

Wrapping it up

Managing premature ejaculation (PE) involves a multifaceted approach that addresses both physical and psychological aspects.

Strategies range from enhancing foreplay and practicing edging to incorporating sex toys and trying out desensitising products like benzocaine wipes, numbing creams, or sprays. The use of thicker condoms can also potentially extend intercourse duration. Strengthening pelvic floor muscles through exercises like Kegels is another effective method for improving ejaculatory control.

In some cases, prescription medications, though not FDA-approved specifically for PE, can be beneficial.

Additionally, behavioural and psychological therapies, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy or consulting with a sex therapist, can address underlying factors contributing to PE.

Each of these strategies can be tailored to individual needs and preferences, offering a comprehensive approach to enhance sexual experiences and address the challenges of PE. It’s important to consult with a healthcare provider for personalised advice and treatment options.